to her

i'm sorry if i'm being mean to u
sorry if u think that i was being a bitch to u..
n ditch u again n again..
i just want to know..
itz x as wat as u saw..
plz hear me out..

yes..itz truth u already gave me a look 'i told u so'..
but u seriously u convicted me before the court start.
i was in the amist of hardship with my relationship..
itz too complicated n bothers me so much..

i want to share
but u always gave me a cold shoulder
your eyes x being helpful either..
every time u walk inside..i can't barely count how many times u gave me a quick smile
n i was just as dumb grinned..
maybe i was in da wrong place
at the wrong time..
maybe i was too bothering
or maybe u hate me being in this house?
n silent iz da best treatment..

dear, even i had da worst day in my life..
coming back home and have a nice little chat with u would be my ultimate goals
i'm tired too..but who am i to compare yours?
there's nothing in my world that can compare to you.

'i jeopardize my love relationship just to defend you
but did you know that?'
thank u for dat..but dear i did da same thing too..
to him n to our friends..
they tell me that they tell me this..
and in the end of the day i shut them all..
or maybe i was not good enough like u

dear, without you realize,
u have replaced me a long time ago
after u met him
i x blame him..n he z so nice to you
but things changed..time passed
it was not the same like we used to have..
to do..laughed..cried..loved
our first three years ago..
i accept it
n i'm just trying to find alternative for that replacement

most of the time i said sorry..
but i hear a little from you..
u may not realize that sometime a small thing that u do..
hurt me most..
banging from the door does say something
yes u r still my bff n i'm human too..
it does x help at all..
but what can i say n what can i do...
i owe you too much..u have done a lot
to ask you more than forgiveness..

because of our ignorant we forgot that we had done so many things
to defend this 'friendship'
da same amount..
da same weight..
n sacrifices but i realize n i want to let you know
blame me for everything
curse me for not being a good friend
shut me for not understand you the most..
say whatever u want to say dear..
coz i'm still here..
waiting for my best friend to come back home